IMPORTANT NOTICE: Scroll down to see footnotes if *s bother you or

prevent you from following the raconte


But … but $*, you had told me that Jyotish is SHAASTRA*…! TA* was nearly in tears, poor soul!

Only silence ensued from $ as the wise one continued with his crosseyed but legs pointing straight ahead neomeditation that he had recently channeled from the 17th dimension of the 3rd multi-verse! This was one accompliced dude! [AN*: No foolin’!] TA continued, “I have been cramming these tables of numbers and data and googling my mule for like a quarter of my long life so far and all I have to show for it is a headache and my buddies think I am a nerd and only my sanskrit teacher likes me and that is hardly an accomplishment, frankly!” [AN: You see TA really wanted to be a pilot or a toy-maker I think. Or did he say Chef at one point! Anyhoo, I should be yapping less and writing more!]

Tuning back to TA, “The yogas do not work, the ayanamsha is all over the place, each time I learn something and test it on charts, starting with mine ofcourse, the 8th chart onwards suddenly the rule does not fit anymore! And I am not even having sadesati! Speaking of which are we to take the 12th, 1st and 2nd house transit from moon or are we to follow Katve’s principle of using the 90 degrees transit straddling the chandra spashta or this three cycles of navamsha transits as suggested by that jyoshi guy who gets all these Dear Madam letters from confused astro-philiacs?” [AN: The MOUTH on that brat!! Someone should LYSOL him!!!]

The ROCK moved! As the termites crawled away ($ was covered with those in his Saadhna) from the mouth region, a deep booming voice emanated from the Great SOUL within, “Phoo Phoo!”

It was time for TA to open his mouth wide in wonderment. He failed to understand.

“First you must dig and you must dig till you begin to enjoy digging and spreading and playing with the dirt, just for the heck of it, TA! If it seems and feels like a chore, you are not there yet and more digging must continue. It is like raking the latrine in that Gandhi movie, son! Once the maya of chore vanishes, even honey bees and scary hornets become friends and desired company! I think I will bring in some mint chutney with me next time! Goes perfectly with termites …!” The voice fell silent. [AN: Now I get what that PHOO PHOO sound was about!].

Even more confused, TA toyed between watching the Gandhi movie or to look at Gandhi’s horoscope. He chose the latter.

He had looked at the chart a thousand times and even written about it in his scrapbook and so on and so forth, but his eyes and mind kept drifting towards this pair of charts that he had recently been given by an ex-alumnus of the Ashram of $. The charts had scorpio rising, all planets in the same signs, and only the moon different. The two individuals were born continents and just a few days apart. One was a serial killer and the other one was an highly skilled surgeon.

Kind of like comparing Hitler’s and Gandhi’s charts side by side! “I will never get it!”, sighed TA and opened his school book. ‘REAL LIFE’ had to be taken care of too! Or there would be detention at the school tomorrow.

TA went to bed with a head full of confusing thoughts, questions and much anguish. It was difficult to relax and fall asleep. He was feeling lonely too. Suddenly he saw the image of a cave. It was as if he was watching the Discovery channel showing prehistoric man. The dude was ugly! TA thanked his stars that his headcold protected him from bad smells! He had a strange furtive look on his face and he was looking apprehensive and had a strange bird like saccadic movement of his head. His eyes peering straight ahead and his neck turning in tiny spurts as he scanned his environment, perhaps trying to locate dangers. “MOVE YOUR EYES, YOU FOOL!”, TA screamed! TA was a kind person but not very subtle! He was awarded ‘The most impolite TA of the Year’ umm… award, many years in a row!

The prehistoric man continued to use his neck muscles instead… 😦

Then TA saw the image of grand beauty. It was a huge hall but it was dark. TA was smart. He knew that if he stayed cool and patient, his eyes would adapt and he would see. He was right! It turned out to be a grand hall with ornate pillars, studded with gemstones. Warm and healing. Inviting and enticing. TA like it here. Soft music was in the background. There was a gentle blue light but it was not the deep violet shapes that TA used to see when he closed his eyes. The incredible shapes and the feeling of energy within when that happened. The shapes of violet light kept moving away in a series of ‘disks’ as if light was moving away as particles, riding on a wave that was giving the particle an opportunity to express many shapes. The wave was making the particle change its shape and the particle was providing the tangible evidence of the existence of the wave.

As TA travelled through this dimly lit <dream? Vision??> he arrived at the fountain. He had heard a lot about it from $. “Paradise!”, $ji used to say with a beatific smile on his face with eyes closed in exulted and at times exalted ecstasy. “Where everything is fresh, young and no decay! Time vanishes!!”. “I have arrived at my destiny!”, TA was ecstatic!

As his vision adapted to the still dark ambience, he noticed that the ugly prehistoric guy was still here and was taking a bath in the fountain of life!

The alarm bell was LOUD! TA woke up and after the first shock beamed pleasantly with a big sigh of relief! “School is fun, man! At least there are no unpredictable surprises there!!”

Far away, $ sighed a sigh of relief but knew that TA will be back again with more questions. “What’s wrong with locusts? There are people in this world that get nourishment through them. And there is always chocolate to camouflage the real contents! OHMMMMM…




* Abbreviations used

TA = Teenager. Let us assume that his name is Hari Puttar (son of God)! (not to be confused with the popular magician with a similar sounding name!!)

AN = Author’s Notes. I get sick each time I use sic!

$ = Swamiji

* The additional A in Shaastra used to separate it from Shastra, the former means a procedural scientific applied discipline, the latter a weapon!



About rohiniranjan1

Religion-free Jyotish (Astrology)
This entry was posted in astrology, Jyotish, travelogue. Bookmark the permalink.

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